Have You Asked Your Doctor if the Drug Called Yoga® is Right For You?

*Note: this is a parody of those commercials advertising certain pills to men on T.V. Enough said...

What is Yoga®, and is it prescribed or can I get it "over-the-mat?"

Both. Yoga® is commonly used to treat not just bad attitudes, but heart disease, asthma, diabetes, chronic neck pain, stress and anxiety, migraine, depression, arthritis, lack of balance and flexibility, bipolar disorder, sleep problems. Yoga® also treats spiritual malaise.

Important information

If extreme calmness and “being present” persists, take occasional breaks from your Yoga® high long enough to share with others (don’t bogart that bliss, man). 

Contact your guru at the front of the room if a posture is painful or if your unhappiness lasts more than a few hours. Prolonged unhappiness can damage your life and is treatable with more and more Yoga® (and its supplement, Meditation®). 

Yoga® may be used for purposes not listed in the medication guide (written five thousand years ago), such as visible abs and better flexibility in any your physical endeavors. 

Before taking this medicine

Do not take Yoga® if you want to just lie on the couch for extended periods with a remote and a bag of Cheetos®.

You should also not take Yoga® if you are allergic to euphoria. 

How should I take Yoga®? 

Yoga® may be taken anywhere from once or twice a day to several times a week, and its effects are amplified when taken in supportive non-pretentious groups.

What happens if I overdose?

Bliss, man.

What should I avoid?

Eating too soon before, which could lead to distracting clenching. 

Yoga® side effects

You trip over your feet less, and become a better dancer. It just happens.

Where can I get Yoga®?

Free samples (classes) may be obtained by contacting your local Ashram or non-profit Yoga® center. Low cost packages may be obtained at most Yoga® studios near you. Namaste, man.